Getting through life cringe-free is virtually impossible.
If you’ve lived a life free of discomfort, than by GOD you must be some sort of superhero.
1. Erectile-Reptile consults his mom.
When I was fourteen this girl asked if I wanted to be her boyfriend. I replied that I’d go home and discuss it with my mom.
2. GavinTheAlmighty hates trucker hats.
In university, I took a class on the construction of humour in classical literature. Part of the class involved getting up in front of everyone (150 people or so), telling a joke, and then being able to explain the humour. This one girl got up to tell her joke. She was wearing a flannel trucker cap because apparently that was the style at the time. In an attempt to be funny, I said out loud “Oh man, I hope that hat is part of the joke”. Dead total silence, 149 sets of eyes staring right at me. My only defence was to close my eyes, because if I couldn’t see them, they couldn’t see me. I was an overgrown five-year-old. I still think about that moment a lot.
3. An anonymous user doesn’t understand that when you’re here, you’re family.
I yelled at a handicapped kid in an Olive Garden. This was 02-03? There was a family sitting behind us. The son must have just got a new cell phone, and he was trying to find that JUST right ringtone. Out of maybe 15 possible tones. After I heard them all 2 or 3 times, I lost it. I push off the table, (chairs are on wheels, because it’s OG) and roll back to the folks behind us. In a wonderfully pleasant Jersey Accent- “Do you MIND?!?!?” At that moment I realize… the kid is handicapped. Downs Syndrome. My face drops, and I’ve got to roll myself back towards with my legs, head hung low, for just yelling at this kid. Entire place was silent. Everyone in the place knew what was going on while he was figuring out the ringtone, except me. It’s still laughed about to this day.
4. haydenchampion shows off his smooth moves.
On the last day of sixth grade, i wouldn’t see my girlfriend all summer. Instead of hugging her bye, I shook her hand and walked away
5. Loeb123 can’t stand the sound of forks.
That sound when someone bites the fork while he is eating. I can’t stand it.
6. Fajardo1253’s friend runs for student council.
There’s a certain memory from not too long ago. My friend and I are in high school, and he wanted to run for spirit commissioner for student council. Obviously one step to getting there is to have a speech in front of the other kids. The thing about my friend is that he isn’t the most grown up person ever. What he did for his speech was dress like someone from the Newsies play, and the beginning of his speech consisted of him singing in the same tune as one of the songs but with lyrics about his campaign. He’s not a good singer. My other friends around me noted how I was rolled up in fetal position on the bleachers from all the cringe.
7. BrandOfTheExalt just gave us our new phobia.
Clipping my tooth with a nail clipper
8. ILove2Bacon makes a huge mistake.
One Halloween in 6th grade I asked a girl if she was wearing fake teeth when she wasn’t.
9. Erectile-Reptile has sex for the first time.
The memory of my mom walking in on my first girlfriend and me. We never slept at my place again
10. yosol serenades his girlfriend.
Myself in high school when I gave a serenade to my girlfriend (now ex) outside of her house. Fucked up because I’m tone deaf, sound like a pubescent version of James Hetfield when I sing, forgot the lyrics to most of the songs (which were really corny songs like “Wherever you will go” and “Creep”) and two of the strings on my guitar snapped, all while wearing a top hat. My ex had to come out of her house and stop me from embarrassing myself any further.
11. Rycifer has a hard time chewing.
Eating something and then biting into something hard. Like biting into a bone when eating meat, or biting into a seed while eating an apple.
12. glassy_milk’s cousin loves Total Drama Island a little too much.
A few years ago I came across my niece’s fan fiction for Total Drama Island. I still have a hard time looking her in the eye and it’s been five years.
13. Why, Maczuna whyyyy?
Imagining slicing my eye with a razor.
14. mrbadassmotherfucker doesn’t want to picture his mom dancing.
My mum on the dance floor. Even if it were an empty room, I’d still cringe
15. defusedkid knows Jake Paul sucks.
Jake Paul dabbing on the news and saying “WHAT ARE THOSE?!” to the news reporter in mid 2k17